Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 2

Prayers That Keep It Real for: People Who Have Been Burned By Church – Part 2


Real Talk: God never waste a hurt. Things don’t just happen without God allowing them to happen. We throw the dice but God always determines how they land. Don’t be afraid to push STOP in your life and reposition yourself for change. Change is uncomfortable, change involves risk, but change is ALWAYS good.


God began to cause a tug-of-war on the inside of me. He began challenging, demanding and tough on me. He was furious, irate, beside Himself that I had made man an idol and He was not having it. He told me that what He had for me was so much bigger than the four walls of a church. He also told me to get ready for harassment, maltreatment, and misunderstanding because it was about to hit me hard. He told me to embrace it because it was all a part of his plan for me.

I began to tuck, press into, get away more with God and confide in Him. I began to be very vulnerable with Him. I told him that my soul ached to see the people I love become so hurtful. The people I thought I’d be with forever act as if I didn’t exist. Act as if I didn’t serve them and have any part in what makes them who they are today. I told God I was bitterly angry because He allowed me to waste all of this time. God, my life could be very different. I could have accomplished so much more.

Be quiet, calm down, hush, shut it up He said. I allowed you to go through this because now I have your undivided attention. You were too loyal and I knew I had to let bizarre things happen in the community “church” to get you to notice me. Work through your pain and get rid of the bitterness because it will only make things worse down the line. Forgive them and move on.

God’s words captivated, pierced through me. My eyes opened and I realized I was worshiping the leader, the hero, the pastor more than God. I was looking to the leader, the hero, the pastor for direction more than God. I had an inordinate attachment that God was about to break. I was not living up to my full potential because I allowed the community “church” to box me in. I noticed that I had shut-out my family, friends, and people who didn’t necessarily believe in the community “church.” I isolated the very people that loved me. I was in a bubble inside of my community “church.” It had me hostage and I wasn’t letting anyone in my space other than my community “the church.”

So, I broke up with the church and renewed my vows with God. My heart ached when it came down to me leaving. It’s almost as if I had an accumulation on my eyes that had been removed. Now, I am free from what the community “church” thinks of me. A lot of rumbling took place when I left. People’s perspective of me changed and I was now being called an outsider and nothing good would probably ever come out of my life according to the community “the church.”

Now, my relationship with God is stronger than ever. I realize that God has me on a different path. A path that is not at the community “church” all of the time. God bless the people who are supposed to be there, I am not knocking you at all. I have locked into where God is taking me and I am comfortable with it. I stay involved with the community “church” through connecting with my friends who live for God. I am now lingering with people who don’t mess with the community “church” on any level. They embrace the God in me and I don’t judge them. God is so much bigger than the four walls of the community “church” and He has groomed, prepared, equipped me to be a light in the world.

COPYWRITTEN 2007